This article originally appeared on this blog on July 20, 2009. It has been updated for 2018.
Another family member falls to the evil of smoking…
Nearly nine years ago, my Dad died of the terrible results of a lifetime of smoking. On Tuesday, I lost my 58-year old sister, Julie to the same evil.
I’m re-posting this plea for any of you who still smoke or any of you who love someone who smokes, PLEASE do whatever it takes to stop.
This is what I wrote in July of 2009:
This is perhaps the most difficult blog entry I’ve ever posted.
I haven’t written in a couple of weeks due to the illness and death of my father.
Ralph Barnes was a wonderful man and a loving father to me and my five siblings and a loving husband to his wife, Betsy. I miss him terribly.
I watched this vibrant and witty man become old, twisted in pain and slowly die a death that was the legacy of 50 years of cigarette smoking.
No matter that Dad quit smoking nearly 20 years ago. The damage had been done.
I write this not as a chronicle of Dad’s death, but as an impassioned plea to those of you who smoke to find a way, any way, to quit. Not only does smoking kill you it kills in a vastly unpleasant way that is immensely painful to you and to those who love you.
If the magic genie would grant me just one wish, it would be that smoking and its effects would be forever eradicated from this Earth.
Dad, I am going to honor you by detailing the pain you endured in those last years, to honor you for your courage. I also offer an earnest prayer that what I write here might persuade just one person to stop smoking and avoid this horror, if not for the sake of the individual, then for the sake of the family who must watch this slow and agonizing death.
COPD (commonly known as emphysema)
This disease directly caused by smoking slowly robbed Dad’s lungs of their elasticity until every breath was labored for the last years of his life. This led to repeated painful bouts of pneumonia that further diminished his lung function.
Congestive heart failure
A weakened heart muscle is the result of heart disease, the leading cause of death in the United States and the leading cause of death related to smoking. Over those last years, Dad grew increasingly lethargic. A trip to the kitchen for a drink of water was a major journey. Over those decades of smoking, the his heart muscle lost its strength. His lungs would frequently fill with fluid, further damaging his already impaired breathing ability. The weakened heart caused Dad to lose his appetite. Eating became a chore rather than pleasure. He became a painfully thin, frail old man.
Osteoporosis
Many people don’t realize that smoking is a major risk factor for osteoporosis. It began with a broken hip on St. Patrick’s Day three years ago, several surgeries and infections and a 100-day stint in rehab. It’s a testimony to Dad’s resilience that he was able to rally and overcome the type of injury that frequently claims the lives of elderly people. After another injury and another rehab stay, the doctors finally diagnosed him with osteoporosis. Too late. Slowly, this handsome and dynamic man began to stoop. By the end of his life, his 6-foot 1-inch frame and shrunk to 5-feet 8 inches. In the last months of his life, the stoop made his breathing unbearably difficult.
Try this for yourself: Hunch your shoulders and round your back. Now try to take a deep breath. You can’t really fill up your lungs, can you? Now imagine how this feels for someone who already has severely impaired lung function and must struggle for every breath.
Please stop smoking!
If you smoke, please stop now! I can’t say it more clearly: You are killing yourself. You’re also causing pain, not only for yourself, but for your family and those who love you.
I know this is an extremely difficult addiction to break. Do whatever it takes.
If you’ve read my blog, my newsletter or my books, you’ll know how committed I am to natural living.
But when it comes to smoking, if it takes prescription drugs, take them! Ask all your friends and family for help. Get hypnotized. Join a support group. See a shrink to help you.
There are effective natural ways to address the smoking habit, which I’ve detailed in other posts. (Scroll down the page on the link to find the articles)
Do whatever you have to do.
Dad, nothing I could do would relieve your pain. All our tears cannot bring you back.
I can only offer these thoughts, pleas and prayers so that this modern day Trail of Tears will end. Forever.
A March 2018 addendum on my sister, Julie:
Dad got 87 years. Julie only got 58. It broke my heart to see this vibrant and witty woman, a free spirit loved by all, waste away to less than 90 pounds, homebound, tethered to an oxygen concentrator, increasingly anxious and depressed.
She struggled with her addiction to smoking and only gave it up a handful of years before her death when she became completely dependent on oxygen.
It was a diagnosis of a fast-growing lung cancer that conquered her within weeks.
I will miss her laughter for all the days of my life. I will mourn the life that could have been lived if not for Demon Tobacco.
I can only pray that those of you and your loved ones who are still in the thrall of this evil drug will be able to reverse your course and avoid the fate of two of the people I loved most in the world.
